Having one of those days where I cannot get out of my head. We got back from Cabo late last night, and I took today as a buffer day before returning to work tomorrow. Mind you, at the time when I scheduled the vacation days I didn’t realize I’d only be returning to the job for another week.
I always get a bit of the post-travel blues once the fleeting moments of vacation are gone and real life awaits (thankfully, mother nature was kind and we didn’t return to snow). Now that the distraction of vacation is peeled away, I’m left staring life in the eye. And life is about to look a lot different.
Don’t get me wrong: I very much want this detour. But I’d be lying if I said that the little voice of self-doubt in the back of my head didn’t roar every now and again. Today I had a constant loop of “you need to find a part-time job ASAP or else the world is going to end!” on repeat in my brain. Yes, self, you will need to find supplemental income. No, that might not happen today, or this week even. No, self, you will not have to resort to cooking meth in an RV. The neurotic struggle is real, folks.
I’m trying to have patience with the journey, but it doesn’t always come easily. At my core, I’m a planner and a control freak. Take the plan and the control away, and it feels like my brain is in meltdown mode. I really don’t want to go back on anxiety meds, so I guess I just have to accept that some days will be harder than others, and that I have to do a better job of taking care of myself.
My resolution is to get back into running now that the weather is nice. I had planned to run the half-marathon in May, but with feeling crappy for the last couple of months, I let myself off the hook- guilt free – a few weeks ago. I do miss the release that running brings; the mindlessness that comes with keeping a steady (albeit, slow) pace. So, time to lace up the shoes and start pounding the pavement again. It will be even better now that I have a 4-legged friend to join me.
And now to end this post, a series of running-related expressions: One step at a time. Slow and steady wins the race. A journey of 1,000 miles begins with a single step. Just do it. Keep your eye on the horizon. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.