2016 has been a weird year for me. Mostly because 2016 is the year that I turn 30. I’ve never been one to feel like my life was on a timeline that required me to have checkmarks next to career, marriage, house, baby, etc. in a series of sequential steps indicating a life that is on track. But, something about the closing of this decade has been really freaking me out. Mostly because I’ve always associated 30 with being a full-blown adult; like the kind of adult who knows how to make a meatloaf from scratch, file their taxes with ease, and change a flat tire (I can do none of these things). In general: I thought I’d have my shit together by now.

Does anyone, at any age, have their shit together? That is one of life’s great questions, I suppose. On one hand, I can’t imagine that there are many 90 year olds who have “how to unclog the garbage disposal” in their search history. But on the other hand, humans were figuring out how to solve life’s problems long before we all had a Google machine in our hand at all time. Were those people more adult-y than me?

I think social media is partially to blame for this phenomenon. We see curated images from people’s lives and assume that theirs job are amazing, their houses are perfect, and their children are flawless. I hope that most people are smart enough to realize the slices of life that are shared by other are highly edited; its sort of like when you leave the news on for too long- you start to believe that life is exactly as it is portrayed. When you see enough of these images, it is far too easy to believe that everyone else has it figured out and you are the only one with personal struggles.

Let the record show- I basically have no idea what I am doing most of the time nor what I should be doing. Couple that with some serious anxiety issues, and I am basically a hot mess 99% of the time. I need to work on letting it be and accepting where I am in life. Sometimes there isn’t always a defined path and you have to forge ahead anyways.

But in the meantime, if any adults out there actually have it all figured out- please share your secrets.